...just like Ronnie sang

That little ditty was immortalized by Eddie Money back in arguably the most feel-good, optimistic decade of the United States. The Cold War was coming to an end, the economy was up and the shade/suit combo was in full swing. Take Me Home Tonight has that same sort of 80's air of freshness but fails to accomplish anything meaningful.

To sum up: Topher Grace plays an intelligent, MIT graduate lacking drive to find a job because he doesn't want to fail anything. His fear of failing prevents him from trying anything until he sees a high school crush (Teresa Palmer) and tries to impress her. He does this through lying and making himself up to be something he's not. After accomplishing this, he realizes he must be honest with himself and her. She leaves but then he steps up and gains confidence and the girl. Yahoo. It's a standard feel good movie.

The problem, however, is that emotions heighten and fall too quickly (this all happens in the span of about 12 hours), there's very little character development outside of Topher Grace, and there is a lot going on that has nothing to do with the main plot, e.g. the subplot of Anna Farris and Chris Pratt getting married (kinda funny cause they're married in real life?) didn't really help the rest of the movie out and actually left some questions at the end.

More than that nothing seemed honest. Not just the character interactions but the actors themselves. The acting just wasn't very good. Even if it was, the conditions under which all this was happening didn't make sense. All the characters were supposed to be just out of college, MAYBE a year. Topher Grace is almost 33 years old. He was great playing basically the same character back in That 70's Show but here it just doesn't feel right. His twin sister is played by the almost 35 year old Anna Farris. Dan Fogler is the same age. They're all great actors but just didn't fit in these roles. [Ok, ok, Theresa Palmer, Topher Grace's love interest is 25. It fits. Whatever.] Further, all characters in the movie were interacting like they were older than 22-23, talking about international travel and world currency, but at the same time having dance offs and switching into amateur mode when the time was right.

The entire movie just didn't feel right. All in all it was good but not great; a fun, light hearted, underdog-gets-the girl-and-becomes-top-dog movie. Given the actors and humor however it should have come out 5-6 years ago. There were some good one liners but for the most part the humor wasn't there. Catch it on HBO on a late Saturday night after you've had some drinks.

6/10

Oh, also, I saw the movie Hall Pass the weekend it came out but didn't feel it was worthy of a full post. Garbage. Don't fund it. Anyone that has over a year to come up with a movie idea could make something better than Hall Pass. Some critic said it was better than Me, Myself and Irene. Sir, there was nothing in it that even came close to "You keep fuckin' around and you gonna get that scholarship to Yale taken away. End up at Stanford with a muthafuckin' sling blade." No, this was down there with Stuck on You which was about as cool as Communist Russia. Damn you Farrelly brothers.

Quote of the Week:

"No it's not like Horse!"

A beautiful tale

So the other night when I laid out Oscar picks I threw down the Gauntlet and said Colin Firth would get it for Best Actor. While I still think Firth delivered a grand, memorable performance and the hoity-toity folk that comprise the Academy will send the Golden Man his way, it's no doubt that Javier Bardiem makes a justifiable case for his performance in Biutiful. (and hey! Canne's thinks so too! [see below])

Unless you live in Spain, Mexico, New York or L.A. you haven't heard much about this film, much less seen it - it's only garnered $2 mil domestically since it came out a month ago. (Meanwhile Justin Bieber: Never say never made that and another mil on Friday (2/18) alone; all according to BoxOfficeMojo.com). If you've never heard of it, I'm telling you about it now. If you have heard about it and are on the fence to see it, just see it. If not for the powerful story of a man trying to do the most good for those around him then see it for the best lead performance and direction of the year.

As the story begins, Bardiem plays Uxbal, a poor businessman, role model, father and literally, a poor man. He soon finds out he doesn't have long to live and attempts to change his life around the best he can. Unfortunately, his deeds indirectly worsen the lives of those he cares about even more than if he had done nothing. This includes the deportation of a friend, the physical and emotional pain of his children and even the sudden, unintentional deaths of innocent migrants. This is NOT a rainy Saturday afternoon feel-good movie. It is a portrayal of a man's struggle to repent and the realistic consequences he must conquer. The direction of Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu - the camera angles, moments and breaks, the creation of creepy off center actions and clues - make the viewer feel they're in the spiraling mind of Uxbal in stylistic, almost grotesque fashion.

Check it out.

Rift

Forgive me readers, for I have left you and my partner in cinema sleuthing in a world of silver screen oblivion. It has been 579 days since my last post. You can thank that steaming pile of cow dung (figuratively speaking), The Hurt Locker, for that one. After hearing about an Oscar nod I had to Obi-Wan it for a year and a half and hang out in bed-bug infested Manhattan movie theatre seats to reinforce my faith in quality cinema. Now I'm back like Renton trying to get a fix and some Kelly Macdonald.

I digress. Though some have said this year has been lackluster in movie magic, I say it's been Fantasia. Just think: Inception, The Social Network, The Town, True Grit, Black Swan, The Fighter, 127 Hours, Toy Story 3, Shutter Island, How to Train your Dragon, Get Him to the Greek, and if you're into that sort of thing, Harry Potter 7 Part I. And hey, props to my boy Dwayne Johnson for doing Tooth Fairy. What an interesting career. Anyway, I'll get back to my normal review schedule (once a week!) and drop dimes on the most current sheisse so we can all spend our $6-23 wisely but for now...

It's Oscar time!! There are some movies that I believe should have been nominated (e.g. The Town) and some that should have been taken out (Acting aside, The King's Speech. I'm sorry, but really, he couldn't speak in the beginning and he couldn't speak in the end) but all in all there were some damn good movies out this year. I won't put out long reviews now but here is what I think will be the finalists:

Best Picture: The Social Network

-Sure, Inception was the coolest thing since Neo stopped bullets and yeah, it made viewers question their existence and what they're doing with their lives but The Social Network did it better. The difference? This showed a couple twenty year olds redefining how business is done and the steps taken to construct an empire that is more addicting and has generated more revenue than the crack industry. Yeah, look it up. The Social Network defines our generation more than Kanye West and with better acting, direction and writing (all nominated). It is, without a doubt, the most inspiring film this year and is guaranteed to make you want to change your life for the better - more than Matt Damon's wickid smahwt's film did 13 years ago. Hey, I watched it last night and am writing this today after nearly two years of silence.

Best Actor: Colin Firth

- Despite walking out incredibly underwhelmed with the movie itself, Colin Firth's performance was absolutely remarkable. "In this grave hour fuck fuck fuck perhaps the most fateful in our history bugger shit shit." - Ah', just grand. I have to give a nod to James Franco. Going from "Mmm, so good" in Spider Man 3 to delivering a performance that brought every viewer down into the lonely chasm with him is something none of us saw coming. Give this man the right script and I guarantee he'll win the Golden Man.

Best Actress: Natalie Portman

- This one's easy. Have you seen Black Swan? Go see it. I don't need to explain this. This is a tough role to pull off and she nailed it.

Best Supporting Actor: Christian Bale

- Remember in The Dark Knight when you got excited to see Heath Ledger as the Joker? Same sorta thing. Ledger's performance was legendary but Bale's performance is in the same "OMG WHAT'S HE GONNA DO NEXT?!' class. Super fun to watch.

Best Supporting Actress: Melissa Leo

- There was no other female character this year that was easier to hate and make one cringe than Melissa Leo's portrayal of Alice Ward, the tough-as-a-beaten-coked-up-widowed-mother-of-5-working-in-a-South-Compton-skin-bar-truck-stop mother of Micky and Dicky in The Fighter. Think a Boston trailer trash, blue collar cousin of Nurse Ratched (One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest). It was almost hard to believe that she was just an actor that was previously on All My Children. Though it won't, it'd be really great if this went to Hailee Steinfeld. Fourteen years old and killing it almost as dirty as someone with 30 years of experience... like Melissa Leo.

Best Director: David Fincher

- This one is difficult. Both Fincher and Aronovsky have created beautiful works that bring the viewer in more than any other in the past two years. Easy. However, I have never felt the way I did after watching The Social Network. Though some of this can be attributed to Aaron Sorkin, Fincher conjured a story, mood and atmosphere that has and will become the anthem of our generation.

Best Writing directly for the screen: Inception

- Your mind walks into an alley and gets gang banged prison style by the scariest blokes imaginable and when you try to cry uncle and scream to God 'why is this happening?!' you get gagged and blindfolded and it hurts even more. But then you realize you kind of like it. And it may be the best you've ever had. And it may be something you wish you'd never wake from. Christopher Nolan created the perfect metaphor for all our lives in the coolest, most meaningful way imaginable. This screenplay was perfect.

Best Writing Based on a Previous Work: Aaron Sorkin

- Hinted at above, The Social Network is the perfect representation of our generation; it is the sum theme of our society's culture over the past ten years. Further, it's fast paced, thrilling, emotional and above all, inspiring. This will be spark for citizens the world over to kick procrastination in the ribs and realize their potential. Truly a masterpiece.

Chew on that and I'll have more in the coming soon.

"End? This is not the end. Death is just another path, one that we all must take"