Despite a screenplay that could have been written by a 15 year old rich kid, LA thug wannabe living in Hoboken, NJ, Fast & Furious is a cold-sweat-causing, red-eye provoking, kick-you-in-the-nuts-and-make-you-want-more testosterone fest of 'holy sh*t!'ness.
Fast & Furious takes place five years after the events of The Fast & the Furious and resurrects the main characters along with it. The events that bring them all back together (along with the entire plot of the movie) will have viewers thinking, "Wait, but... what?...Why would they... Oh! Look! Cars and breasts!"In other words, Fast & Furious is like that hot girl you know named Victoria (yup, her) that you love to go out with, but would douse yourself in 97 octane gasoline and ask her to light a match after talking to her for any more than three minutes. And she'd do it 'cause she's freakin' special! Like our beloved Victoria, where F&F lacks intelligence, it more than makes up with it's sexy, salacious, sweet and saucy form.
This 'form' is made up of imports, muscle cars, guns, scantily clad Asian chicks, and of course, Jordana Brewster, who is sadly only on screen for about 7 minutes. Michelle Rodriguez get's even less screen time, it evens out though with her flash-back time. Paul Walker is less 'Whoa! Paul Walker was freakin' sick in Running Scared!' and more, 'Oh, Joy Ride, that's Paul Walker right? Can I have two for Training Day instead?' Vin Diesel plays the perfect role as always.
Fast & Furious is not a first date movie, though it is definitely a 32nd date movie. Make sure you drive the lamest car possible to see it; obeying posted traffic laws, abiding crossing guards and driving on the right side on the way back will be a true test of citizenry.
Overall: 6.7/10
