...ahem

I just noticed that my home boy posted a... post about the pile of slowly decomposing fecal matter known as Max Payne. God damnit. I am a gamer. A PC gamer. Yes, I'm what you may call a computer 'geek', but I'm also a sexy motherfucker so it evens out. I digress. Max Payne and its sequel were both great games with great stories. These stories were so good in fact, that there was no need for a director on this movie, just a guy that could have said, "Yeah, see that in the game? Yeah, do that. Good" Unfortunately, that didn't happen and what they ended up with was something terrible. More terrible than, I dare say, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. I actually fell asleep during this movie. This has happened ONE other time: Night Watch (Nochnoy Dozor). It's really disappointing that a movie with so much potential can turn into something so bad. Moreover, it's unfortunate that the Oscar nominee, Mark Wahlberg, was sucked into a great idea but bad execution. Max Payne just adds to the list of those responsible for the decrepid video game to movie stereotype.

Solace Runner

Yes, it is true that this new director hasn't done any 'laser' movies (those that involve guns, money and bitches) but then again, Casino Royale wasn't the same kind of action movie that the previous Bonds were. Daniel Craig plays the emotional Bond; the Bond that cares about women and justice. I do have to agree with you that a mere 106 minutes of Quantum time probably won't be enough, but then again, think of how long (and at some points boring) the Casino segment of Casino Royale was. Sure, the film had to live up to it's title, but more killing via silenced PPK's is good too.

Quantum of Solace has potential of being a zero down time movie; the kind that goes by and makes you think, "Gee wiz, this is darn good, I could watch it again and again and never get bored with it." And maybe that's what the difference will be. In any case, I know that I, and plenty of people around the world, will be standing in line next weekend to see it.

"You cannot catch a bat in a pot! Moron!" ~ Name that quote!

The Kite Quantum

I have a strange feeling that I'm not alone in this. Casino Royale is the best Bond film to date. Period. After watching it I was blown away at the action and intensity of the story. Maybe that's because my previous favorite Bond film was Goldeneye and the man who directed that also directed Casino Royale. Now to the matter at hand.

I'm worried about Quantum of Solace. I was extremely pumped after seeing the first preview but now I gotta say I'm starting to feel the pressure. I have no doubt that it is going to open to a huge box office, but I think it's going to be a mediocre sequel, something the Bond franchise has never done before. Also, the director, Marc Forster (The Kite Runner) has never directed an action film. Weighing in the fact that this is going to be the shortest Bond film following the longest one, doesn't sit well.

On the bright side, Daniel Craig is going to be phenomenal. Olga Kurylenko is fucking hot. Although, I am curious as to why she is playing a Spanish chick even though she's from the Ukraine, but I guess I'll find out. I will leave you with one thing: It doesn't hurt going into a movie with low expectations, because you never know if the level will be raised when the movie ends.

Revelation

Something dawned on a me a while back. I had this grand idea of blogging about movies with another individual who would argue with me until one of us was ultimately right. That is what I set out to do, unfortunately that is not what is happening here. So, I have decided that the structure of this blog needs an overhaul. In addition to the reviews and warnings about current movies, I'm gonna start dishing my thoughts about the films yet to come.

Drew, Bring It.

Say 'Hi' to your mutha for me aight

As my co-blogger previously stated, I do apologize for not posting for such a long time. Drew thanks for keeping it running. Like my counterpart I just moved to an apartment in Los Angeles and was without internet for 2 fuckin' weeks. So I hope you all out there will cut me some slack. Now on to the piece of shit that was Max Payne.

I'm gonna lay something on the table. I believe in video game movies. That being said I will explain myself. The first Mortal Kombat movie, was awesome. Every single video game that has been made into a movie, other than that BLOWS. Max Payne is no different. But I do hope that one day, some video game will be made into a great movie.

From the shitty acting of Mr. Entourage Producer himself, to the plot that left nothing resolved, there was absolutely nothing redeeming about Max Payne. You didn't give a shit about any of the characters and the twists couldn't have been less creative or predictable. The only positive is that I like the way snow looks with blood. I think more films should employ this device.

In the end, don't see Max Payne. It will be a phenomenal waste of your time and money. To quote Billy Madison, "everyone in this room is now dumber from having listen(seen) to it." And that's how this movie makes you feel.

The Golden Ticket

Alright so I haven't blogged here in a while. What movies have I seen since then? Well, I've seen Ghost Town and Body of Lies, both of which were excellent. So why haven't I wrote since then? Mostly because I've been moving to New York and now I have a grown-up job. Also, because I saw both of these movies after they had been out for a little while and therefore felt it would be slightly useless to post something that wouldn't really have any bearing. SO, why am I posting now? To explain to you, dear reader, that to see a movie in New York City, is fucking expensive.

Astonishingly, there are about 25 theatres within the 10001 zip code alone (estimated from Fandango.com). For those of you outta towners, that's an area of .7 square miles (according to city-data.com) located around Penn Station. Once you stretch the distance, you get more theatres. Lots more. Now, the average cost of a movie ticket in this area is $12.00 for an adult and $8.50 for children and seniors (again, according to Fandango). Where I was previously from, it was $9.50 for adults and $6.00 for children and seniors. So do the math (fine, I will) that's an increase of $2.50 per ticket per age per show in NYC. Yes, it's hogwash. But people can't be too poor to see movies right? It depends. If you look at the average income for this area, it suggests that people can. According to city-data.com, the average income of someone living in the 10001 zip code makes $84,496. That was in 2004 which means the average is most likely around 90k. The average income where I saw movies was $84,797. So wtf, mate? It sadly doesn't even out. What does make sense though is that this is New York, the number one populated city in the United States. Here in the city, one theatre can seat a limited amount of people. Think of what else this space could be used for. Other businesses, homes, etc. They have to charge a lot of money to pay for that rent. Money that we New Yorkers are willing to pay for the utility that it adds to our lives. Money that also apparently adds up to $12 per ticket.

Be tea dub: One 12 oz. bottle of beer costs $6, a standard no frills haircut costs $18, but a footlong meatball sub from Subway costs $5. Word.