'And if ya don't know, now ya know N*gga'

As I sat watching the green load bar on my computer screen, a nerdy chick explained the woes of my Dell computer to me. She suddenly gasped when she saw a glistening object hanging on my wall. "You like Biggie?" she asked enthusiastically. She be frontin' bout my phat blingin' B.I.G. dawg tag dat I nab'd fo 650 tix at D and B's fo sho (Dave and Buster's fo' ya'll honkies). After affirming I was in fact a fan of Christopher Wallace and his rhymes about receiving fellatio from promiscuous strumpets around Brooklyn, she proceeded to divulge Notorious, the movie based upon the great Notorious B.I.G.

This was my first time hearing of this title, despite a teaser being out three months ago. Well I just watched the theatrical trailer and though it's no 8 mile, it'll definitely get more nods than 50's stank dirty, Get Rich or Die Tryin'. George Tillman Jr. is going from bringing a man out of racial ties (Men of Honor) to bringing a man out of the grave in Notorious. He's chosen Jamal Woolard to play the title role. Who? I'm asking the same question. It's his first time on screen and from the trailer, it may be his last. He's big, but Biggie he is not. In any case, this movie will show the life of Biggie, Puffy, Pac, and all the other East/West hoodlums when the rap industry transformed words in the studio to actions out on the street. This is a story that has been waiting over ten years to be told, this January we will listen.

Check the trailer out Apple or YouTube and tell us what you think.

The Curious Case of Brad Pitt.

It is truly amazing how far technology has come in such a short period of time. Lord of the Rings was an epic achievement but in just eight years, the visual level of Benjamin Button was remarkable. I will warn you that being a 2 hour and 48 minute film, it does start out a little slow. The visuals do not.

Although Brad Pitt will most likely never win an Academy Award (which is a damn shame) his performance in this film, while not incredibly demanding, was perfect. He was great and believable as an old man and you could really see the character change as his age did. Cate Blanchett was stellar as usual. Her best moments came when she is an old woman recounting her story.

The story itself was interesting enough but the way that it is told is what makes this movie great. Those watching will feel the similar style of Forrest Gump as that and this were both written by Eric Roth. The visual style was really director David Fincher at his best. Fincher and Pitt have given us Se7en and Fight Club, both with unique styles of there own, and Fincher continues to reinvent himself with this film.

I have no doubt that this movie will be up for Best Picture, and what it deserves the most is Best Makeup, Special Effects and Cinematography. When you see Brad Pitt at around age 21 you will almost not believe your eyes. I leave you with this, so far this year, Benjamin Button is one of the best.

Walküre

Nazis! Conspiracies! Cruise! Rejoice! 'cause Valkyrie has all three. Though they don't come together as they one could have hoped, Bryan Singer has succeeded in bringing something a little less Superman Returns and a little more The Usual Suspects. 

This is not a war movie, it's not about the horrific nature of the Third Reich or its controllers, the Nazis (or their awesome leather trench coats). All these are merely the backdrop to tell a story of the heroic acts of a courageous few that stood up to what they knew as evil. 

And evil Hitler was. Singer made sure to keep him out of direct lens focus to ensure the diabolical puppeteer behind the scenes to stay true to our image of the Fuhrer. David Bamber performed the role as it should have been. Another stand out was Clarice van Houten, Stauffenberg's wife. It was unfortunate she was given such a small role as not only was she the only one with an authentic German accent, she's a phenominal actress. The acting of all others involved was equally fitting. 

Where they all succeeded, they all equally failed. Near every actor, regardless of birthplace, threw all regard for authenticity to the dogs and gave their character an English accent. Even as these supposed Nazis are scheming against the Brits, they speak their evil doings in proper English. Tom Cruise apparently decided not to stoop so low and brought in nothing but his gold, ol' fashioned American tongue for most of the film. In the prologue, he speaks in German. If the entire movie was done in this way, it would have been far more historical and believable. Why Mr. Singer chose to allow so many different forms of English or the English language in general is beyond me. In any case, this mess of cross cultural Nazi slander gave Valkyrie even less credibility; it seemed these Nazi freedom fighters weren't German at all, but in fact Allied soldiers dressed up in swastikas.

Valkyrie is based on a true story and it stayed very close to fact; near all events portrayed in the film are as they were 54 years ago. I would recommend reading up on the historical events that actually happened, they're quite fascinating. If not, just take my word for it, Valkyrie is near dead on. Though slow in some areas and unbelievable in others, for the shere historical value, Valkyrie should be on your list of films to see, it exemplifies the bravery and heroism of individuals needed then and now.  

Jokes aside...

'Whoa! The Joker? Why is he posting about The Joker? Wtf bro, didn't The Dark Knight come out like 5 months ago?' Yes, my dear observant movie goer, it did. The DVD however came out more recently. When? Well, the regular edition came out ten days ago, the special addition blu ray came out this week and an even specialer (sounds dumb but it is a word) edition will come out next week. I happened to pick one of those bad boys up today and guess what? Seeing the Joker's performance the second time is even better than the first.

As I was watching, I was counting down the minutes, scenes and lines until the Joker would make his way on screen. Heath Ledger makes this movie. Disagree with me? Give me your address and I will come to your house with a copy of The Dark Knight and make you watch it (by force if necessary) until your opinion has changed. From his introduction with the pencil trick, the 'Why so serious' monologue, the faulty remote mechanism, 'Hey! I wanna drive!', unstoppable force/immovable object... etc. Each of these scenes brought this movie to #4 on imdb, and if there could have been a spin off (Joker goes to summer camp?) I would bet it would do just as well as TDK.

Unfortunately, and for the good name of the franchise, there will be no spin offs. What there will be is the Academy Awards. If Mr. Ledger doesn't get our old pal Oscar, I'll bow my head to Mr. Langella (MAYBE Mr. Rourke) and then travel to each member of the academy's houses with a copy of The Dark Knight in hand.

The Wrestler

There has always been one thing that I could never figure out, why aren't all movie posters badass? In every movie there is always one scene or one frame of film that would make an awesome movie poster. The first thing that drew me to the film The Wrestler was the poster. The second was the trailer. The third was director Darren Aronofsky(yeah, that's spelled right). The fourth was Mickey Rourke.

Little did I know that it was gonna be number four, Mickey Rourke, that would make this movie what it is, an emotional story of a great, once-upon-a-time professional wrestler Randy "The Ram" Robinson. In the real world he's a normal guy with normal problems, but the adrenaline rush from the ring is what keeps him going.

The supporting characters of Marisa Tomei and Evan Rachel Wood both serve their purpose well but are not what's special about this film. Mickey Rourke delivers a masterful performance and truly brings the character and the film to life. This story is truly a character study and one that is done exceptionally well. Mr. Rourke will definitely warrant an Oscar nod for this but most likely will not be taking home the statue.

The Wrestler is funny, heartbreaking, and at sometimes difficult to watch. With the amount of high quality films being released over the next two weeks, this one is gonna be up there.

Anyone got a light? I got a light. ...

If you like High School Musical 3, Ne-Yo and/or Gossip Girls, then you probably won't like Gran Torino. If however, you're a God-loving American that hates rap, loves a nice tight hair cut and early morning dew with a side of Pabst, you'll love this movie. Clint Eastwood has brought to light all racial/gender/religious/age tensions in his newest film, Gran Torino. While the story was a bit unoriginal, the humor and racial taboos it brought forth kept it strong.

Eastwood's acting was, of course, phenomenal. Sadly, I can't say the same for about 95% of the other actors throughout the entire film. Granted, many were first timers to a big league movie like this, but come on, if you're on the same screen with Dirty Harry, man up. I will give props to John Carroll Lynch (Fargo, Zodiac, The Drew Carey Show) though, his role as trash talking barber was nothing short of hilarious. Everyone else could use some more practice - 4th period high school drama at least.

So the ending was a bit anti-climactic, the acting by most took near all sincerity out of emotional scenes (though not enough to keep a fat woman next to me from sobbing uncontrollably), and many scenes were useless and/or cheesy, but Gran Torino proves Clint Eastwood is still a bad ass. This movie touches on so many of the racial problems that are wrong with America and the story of one man's reluctant quest to overcome them. If that's not your thing, you can still hear ol' Clint call someone a gook.

- - - - -
Here's some food for thought. Gran Torino opening weekend brought in $271,720... from 6 theatres. That's an average of $45,287 per theater. For comparison's sake, The Dark Knight, the highest opening film of all time, had a per screen average of $36,283. BURN. Alright, alright you naysayers. Yes, it's probably true that if The Dark Knight was packed into 6 theaters there would be all sorts of fire hazards and riots/mass histeria and according to economics it probably could have made more than $45,287... but can we give Mr. Eastwood some credit? This is quite a feat.

Oh, and Frost/Nixon garnered over $60,000 per theater. Booya!


...And I'm bringin' it back, "How am I not myself?"

Certainty

When a Broadway show or play comes off the stage and onto the screen, it often loses the magic it once emitted. Doubt is no exception. Although the acting was phenomenal by all those involved, it failed to bring about the imaginative elements the play conjured up. Doubt, in this case, feels like nothing more than a filmed play; a great story but average movie.

John Patrick Shanley, the writer and director, created something to be remembered when writing Doubt and the play will always be at the top of people's lists of greats. The entire time I was in the theater however, I was thinking that this just wasn't a movie. It didn't feel right. The sets, character interaction and everything else about it just screamed stage. This is not to discredit the acting at all however. Hoffman delivered his usual emotionally charged performance. Adams and Streep were at the top of their game as well. Viola Davis will join the ranks of these Oscar nominees with her small but memorable role as Mrs. Miller. All these characters interacted flawlessly to create a very enjoyable show.

Doubt was an OK movie. After seeing the play and watching actors deliver a superb performance, I just can't say this movie was more or even as gripping and entertaining. Doubt will hit a wider audience than a play could, but maybe plays should stay on a stage.

Oscar/Contender

Before saying anything edlse, if Heath Ledger does not get an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor, Frank Langella will.

Seeing Langella in Frost/Nixon was undoubtedly the best performance I have seen in a while, especially from someone who has seemingly come out of nowhere. Who is this man? Well, according to IMDB, he's 70 years old and hasn't had a large role in a large movie in... well, ever. This means nothing. He's been on Broadway quite a few times and in fact won a Tony for this same role. Every time he is on scene, spitting out Nixon'isms, the audience doesn't want it to end, it's really that entertaining. You will really believe you're watching Richard Nixon on screen, not someone trying to be him. In Frost/Nixon, Langella is Nixon. I said something similar about Ledger's performance in The Dark Knight; it's the kind of performance that really makes the movie. Alright, since this blog is about movie reviews, I'll get to that.

Frost/Nixon is exactly what the title entails: a true to life story of an interview between T.V. personality David Frost (Michael Sheen) and the former president, Richard Nixon (Frank Langella). Though it may help to have lived through this time period (late 70's) it isn't necessary to know the complete history of the Watergate scandal to enjoy this film. As said above, the magnificance of the acting and the unbelievable story behind this time and moreover, the life of Nixon, will pull anyone in - young or old. This movie is perfect. I challenge anyone to see it and say otherwise.

Btw, Michelle Rodriguez is a dog. A bulldog. Jordana Brewster, on the other hand is beautiful - her face glows.

No one on the corner has swagger like us.

Every few years or so, I go to a movie that I know nothing about. One of my friends says, “Hey somebody told me it was good,” or “My parents said it was great.” Now I know that might not be enough to make everyone go to see a movie, but most of the time, I believe them. On such occasions I have seen movie such as Eternal Sunshine, Garden State, and Crash under these circumstances.

Tonight, I saw Slumdog Millionaire. Going into the film I had little idea what it was about but a plethora of friends said I had to see it. They were right. This is one of my favorite movies of the year. I’m a big fan of Director Danny Boyle, from Trainspotting to Sunshine. This is a completely new direction for him (no pun intended).

Like I said before, great movies begin with the Story. The idea behind this movie is an incredibly clever one. However, it could come off as cheesy to some, but it is the execution of the story that wipes that doubt away. Slumdog is a gripping, emotional story of lost love and destiny. It’s funny, heart wrenching, and everything you expect from a potential Best Picture film. All I have to say is that this is one of the best films of the year. It might not be what you expect, but you will be more than pleasantly surprised. Trust me.

Guns, murderers and crooked cops? I was made for this, bre.

The great thing about all the Fast and Furious films is that they don't take themselves too seriously. Justin Lin knows what kind of film he's making here: an action-packed, high-speed, sex-filled, mildly amusing blockbuster movie. Drew I will slightly disagree with you because Lin did direct Better Luck Tomorrow which is a good movie.

But I digest, or is it digress? Anywhoo, screenwriter Chris Morgan did indeed write Tokyo Drift, a storywise step-up from 2 Fast 2 Furious. On the other hand, he wrote Wanted a movie with amazing potential, and I don't want to be graphic but, the worst fucking execution of an idea I've seen in a long time, not since Ghosts of Mars (don't get me started on how good that could have been). Although, I am going to give Mr. Morgan a shot at redeeming himself by making Fast and Furious not take itself seriously.

Let me tell you a secret. I'm hoping Chris Morgan is the type of writer that needs to make 4 shitty movies before he gets to his great one. And I'm hoping that his great one is Gears of War, which he is writing for 2010. All in all, I'll be there to see Fast and Furious, I just hope I keep it under the speed limit when I take off from the parking lot after the movie's done.

p.s. I hate Michelle Rodriguez. If I ever met her, I would punch her in the face.
p.p.s. After I punched her, she'd probably beat the shit out of me. I think she was suppose to be born a man.

My pockets ain't empty, cuz! (He's back!)

First off, I would like to call out that my movie quality prediction qualities are in full swing when I said Australia would be nothing more than a ho-hum average flick. Yahoo me. What I really want to talk about isn't potential Oscar picks (though I do think Che will be up for one). I want to talk about the masterpiece that will be Fast and Furious.

Alright, I know, I know, nothing that Justin Lin has ever directed has actually been good. Tokyo drift had some cool scenes, but thanks to Chris Morgan, the plot was pretty sub par. Well they're both back but this time they have the original cast from the classic The Fast and the Furious. Will it be good? Probably not. Will it have unrealistic-testosterone-driven-action coupled with meat- headed-trash-spittin' disses and scantily clad women driving rice-burning, supercharged, ridiculously-painted, decal'ed imports? Yes.

Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster and Michelle Rodriguez are back and sadly, the one named wonders, Tyrese and Ludacris have retired. Darn. After seeing the trailer, which you should check out if you haven't already, it's apparent that Lin has learned from the mistakes of Cohen and Singleton (the first two directors of the series). Let's hope Morgan can do the same. Even if he doesn't, I honestly believe Fast & Furious has the potential to reign supreme in sales with the younger crowd this summer when it hits theatres June 2009.

Crikey

First of all, it has been far too long since a post has made it's way on here. With Thanksgiving craziness and traveling around it has been tough to get a chance to post, but alas here we go.

Over Thanksgiving it has become a family tradition of seeing a "girly" movie. In the past years on Thanksgiving I have see Rent, Enchanted, and movies of the like. This year I saw Australia.

Now I did make a prediction on an earlier post that this movie would have a shot at being nominated for Best Picture, it doesn't. I also claimed that Hugh Jackman could win a Best Actor Award, he can't. That being said this is a good movie, not a great movie. An epic love story that only spans a two year time period.

The story was not all that unique. Basically Titanic lite. Girl upper class, Boy lower class, she needs his help and he helps. The interesting part of the film involves the story behind the Stolen Generations of the half Australian half Aboriginal children that were taken from their mothers and placed at a Missionary. It is an important part of Australian history that most of the rest of the world knows nothing about.

The visuals of this film were the strongest aspect of it. You can really see how much effort director Baz Luhrmann puts into his films. But like I said before nothing new story wise. Worth seeing but it is a long movie that easily could have been cut in half and been just as strong.

Bond, Jason Bond

Yes, QoS was much like Bourne in terms of action and cinematography, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. Bond is still Bond, and more now than ever before. The Bond of today is nothing as the Bond was ten years ago when we saw him blowing himself out of a submarine and then hooking up with a chick named Christmas. The Bourne trilogy is definitely in my top five, with Ultimatum being nearly just as good as Identity, for what I thought of as awesome camera direction. That said, I personally thought the action sequences of Quantum were much better than those in Royale, but to each his own.

I think the main issue here is that Quantum of Solace would be nothing without Casino Royale. In retrospect, they should have called it CR.5. It is very confusing in certain areas as to what exactly is happening and why in that exact moment, but the overall plot of QoS is Bond wrestling with the demons of his former love, Vesper (Yes, my bad, I messed up a character's name, I'm a terrible person). Throughout the whole movie, the topic of Bond not being able to sleep, constantly seeking out revenge and killing everyone that may have been involved in the Q organization is touched upon. He's an emotional guy. So emotional in fact, he drinks a gin martini and doesn't once introduce himself as "Bond, James Bond."

Again, being that this was basically Casino Royale and a half and it picks up right where it left off, I don't see how the opening car chase was unnecessary. Sure, I guess Bond, M, and everyone else could have interrogated Mr. White at his house, but that just wouldn't make for good cinema. As for Gemma Arterton, her character was completely pointless, but Bond uses her as an object and this is really the only proof that the Bond in this film is the same Bond from others (see the last sentence in previous paragraph). Beyond that, she's super hot. Also, her character paves the way for Bond to go against authority and do what's right.

This was not an OK Bond film, this was an amazing Bond film. An OK Bond film would be any Brosnan film other than Goldeneye, about 75% of the Moore films and I won't even go into how low that goofy fuck Lazenby took the franchise. QoS doesn't have the originality that Casino had, but it certainly won't be labeled as just another 007 film either.

There Will Be Bond.

Casino Royale is the best Bond film, period. Everything about it is perfect. The balance between action an emotion is unprecedented. The acting is phenomenal and the story is tightly constructed. Knowing all this, any new Bond film has very large shoes to fill.

Quantum of Solace is an OK Bond film. It is a great action movie. I do agree that it had the feel of The Bourne Ultimatum, which is exactly the thing I disliked the most about this movie. Bond is not Bourne. Bond is Bond. In having a first time action director take on a Bond film, guess who he hires as his director of photography, the same guy who was the DOP for Bourne. Mistake number one.

As you stated below, critics say that Solace lacked plot. And it did. I didn't really know why anyone was doing what they were doing until pretty late into the film. I do understand that misdirection was a key element in this film, but it becomes pointless when you keep getting shown things that, in the end, don't matter. Mistake number two.

I could go on about how the opening car chase was unnecessary, as was Gemma Aerton's role in the film. Although, we did see some heart shown by Bond in the loss of Vesper (not Vespa, Drew; I don't think she got 50 mpg). The best moment of the film (which I will not spoil here) was a reflection about Casino Royale. It was the most emotionally charged moment since the scene in the shower in Royale.

Like I said before, this is an OK Bond film. See it. Let me know what you think. But I have to say, the order still stands: Royale, Goldeneye, Solace.

Quantifiable

After drying my eyes caused by the pain brought about by paying $12.50 for a ticket, I walked into the non-stadium-seated, over capacity theatre on the Upper West Side. From beginning to end, Quantum of Solace had me in awe. Between the perfectly choreographed fight/chase scenes, excellent plot and by far the most beautiful Bond girl, this movie was, I dare say, better than Casino Royale.

Ok, ok, I know. Casino Royale was the greatest Bond film of all time. It will always remain a classic in the respect that it was the first to break the mold of how a typical 007 film should be. Quantum expands upon that. Bond is now out for revenge and the viewer can actually sense how much the death of Vespa has taken its toll. Though there are plently of elements of dry Brititsh humor, Quantum is a darker, angrier film than its predecessor.

I have read many reviews that say Quantum is lacking in plot, basically all icing without any cake. I respectfully disagree. There was very much character development throughout the film and between all the main characters. Many relationships are fueled by events in each characters past and bonds are formed. Through this, we see the new James Bond actually has a heart, as was seen in Casino Royale.

Olga Kurylenko is in my opinion, the hottest of all the Bond girls who have graced the silver screen. Strawberry Fields, played by Gemma Arteton, who in the movie refers to herself as simply Fields (with good reason) is not only more attractive than previous girls, but younger too, being 18 years younger than Craig. I expect to see both of these fine ladies' fame rise and perhaps a reappearance by Kurlenko in future Bond films.

The action in Quantum of Solace was much akin to The Bourne Ultimatum; intricate hand to hand combat with amplified sound effects, extreme close-ups on individual fist-to-face connections, and of course an amazing car chase (that was missing from Casino Rolyale) with extreme close-ups on just how dented and mangled an Aston Martin DBS can get. On top of all that, we even see a plane chase, something that I'm not aware has happened in any previous Bond film.

Quantum of Solace will get mixed reviews from all that see it. It's not a typical Bond movie, just as Casino Royale wasn't. The plot is a mere firecracker compared to the explosive, red-eyed action throughout the movie, but they come together to produce a needed bridge in this new route that Bond has taken. I'm already excited for Bond 23.

My P.I.C.

This weekend I went to see a movie and only paid (gasp!) $7.00. That's because I was home in Palm Beach rather than (home) in Manhattan. It's a great thing when a movie ticket is cheaper than a beer in the city. A greater thing when is that movie is a memorable, quotable, belly aching laugh fest.

Role Models was great. Every actor played their part perfectly from Seann William Scott and Paul Rudd all the way to Ken Jeong as the dorky, arrogant King Argotron. I have to agree that Bobb'e J. Thompson was the stand out comic that stole the show. Of course McLovin' (as he will forever be known) played a great role as well and proved he can play a dork outside of school too.

There are literally Role Models posters every 50 yards here in New York and it's rather surprising to me that it only made 19.2 mil this weekend, a mere third of what Madagascar 2 made. That's two weekends in a row that stupid movies with flashy colors have beat out funny movies with great plot and lines. There's no doubt in my mind that Quantum of Solace will take the cake (and eat it too) this weekend, but let's hope it still reigns supreme when Bolt and Twilight come out on the 21st. Given the amount of giddy school girls out there, I'm betting it won't.

Role Models.

A few days ago, I posted my hopes for this movie. Some say that they were bold claims. But guess what? I was right. I just saw Role Models and I have to say that it is fucking hilarious.

Paul Rudd truly has become one of my favorite comedy movie actors because of how he (and Seth Rogen) bring in outside movie quotes into their films. Sean William Scott was awesome. The very first joke of this film shows his style of comedy perfectly. Jane Lynch was crazy and incredibly funny. Whoever wrote her character is a genius.

That being said, the funniest people in the movie were the kids. Mclovin as we all know him was great, playing the Dungeons & Dragons type nerd. However, the scene stealer of the movie was Bobb'e J. Thompson, the little black kid. Every single thing he says and does is unbelievable. Especially in the way you do not see it coming.

If you have any doubts about seeing this movie, let them go. You will be laughing your ass off and come away with quotes you will be using for a while.

Synecdoche n. def: piece of shit movie

Now I'm gonna tell you a little story. It's about a movie called Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. On a most likely rainy day in south Florida 2004, a close friend of mine said, "hey, lets go see the new Jim Carrey movie, Eternal Sunshine." Knowing absolutely nothing about it, I agreed. After seeing the film, I was blown away and thought it was one of the most interesting and one of the best films I had seen in a long time. And believe it or not, it was a film by Charlie Kaufman.

Now I'm gonna tell you a NEW story. It's about a piece of S-H-I-T movie called Synecdoche. On a cool night in Lost Angeles 2008, a close friend of mine said, "hey, a couple of my friends are going to see this new movie called Synecdoche." Knowing absolutely nothing about it, I agreed to go. After sitting through 2 excruciating hours of utter and complete nothingness, I thought it was the most pointless, useless, and biggest waste-of-time-films I had EVER seen, ever. And you guessed it, it was a film by Charlie Kaufman.

I would say that Phillip Seymour Hoffman is good, but that's really neither here nor there.

Don't ever see this movie, ever. And that's all I have to say about that.

Remember, Remember the 5th of November.

The 5th of November. A day reminiscent of one of my favorite movies V for Vendetta. It will also be the day remembered for America electing it's first black president. Today though, I'm gonna talk about the upcoming idea for the Superman franchise.

There have been rumors and speculations that the next Superman film will be going the route of the Dark Knight, making the character dark. Personally I think that is a load of bullshit. There is an old saying, "A hero is only as strong as his villain" and that is the problem with Superman. Lex Luthor is not a supervillian. And that is exactly what Superman needs, someone he can go round for round with, someone who can actually hurt him.

On the other hand, I do like the idea of starting Superman over like Batman Begins. Beginning on Krypton and finishing with the Last Son of Krypton being the last person on Earth as our sun dies and he loses his powers. But we can only hope right.

I did like this little image of Megan Fox as Wonder Woman, but I still prefer the shot of Elisha Cuthbert as Super Girl, better. All I can say is that I have always loved Superman and I hope they keep him the way he is, but build a story that will be dark and devastating.

This is the first time I've heard of this movie, and therefore seen its trailer. Judging by what I saw, I don't think it's going to be that great, or at the very least, as great as you believe it to be. Personally, I think it is going to be a combination of Far and Away and Pearl Harbor. Both were pretty average. Australia has potential of doing very well at the box office but I think the story itself is nothing new. Yes, it involves the bombing of Darwin, something even I didn't know about before heading over to Wikipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bombing_of _Darwin_(February _1942). But despite the history element, I think it is nothing more than a stereotypical romance film, following the same route as other films of this genre: rich girl meets poor boy, rich girl falls in love with poor boy, poor boy dies saving rich girl from evil axis powers. And the climax scene will be the tear jerker that will nominate Hugh Jackman, and possibly Nicole Kidman, for an Oscar. Their performances will keep this movie afloat, because I really don't believe the story will do it on its own. I do agree that Australia will be nominated for a couple Academy Awards, but I would be floored if it won Best Picture.

Australia.

Every once in a while, a movie trailer comes along, where you just know it's gonna be nominated for best picture. There are only two trailers I have seen so far this year that qualify. Today I'm only gonna talk about one of them, Australia. If you haven't seen the preview, you can find it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05zTnDTpbHI&fmt=18.

I could not be more pumped for this movie. I have said for years that Hugh Jackman is going to be winning a Best Actor Academy Award and this is going to be his best shot so far. He is an amazing talent (save for that piece of shit film The Prestige) finally getting the chance to use his native accent. Nicole Kidman, to me, is nothing special. Only movie I like her in is Batman Forever and even there she doesn't really do much, which is why she's good.

Another note, having been to Australia myself and learning about the events that take place in this film justs ups the ante for my expectations. Though looking at the preview alone, it looks like Titanic, but instead of a big ass boat going under, it's the top of a continent being blown out of the water. Either way, this movie is gonna be sick.

Quote's from The Shining, Drew.

p.s. GOW 2, fuck yeah.

I'm not gonna hurt ya...

Thanks to my job with its painful hours as of late, I haven't been able to see any movies or do anything cool this weekend. That's right, I had to pull two weekend shifts. Intense shite. Anywho, I can't comment on the quality of Zack and Miri Make a Porno, but all I can imagine is if Kevin Smith did it, it must be good. Everything he touches is brilliant; the dialogue, story and characters are memorable years after his films were released. Has anyone forgotten the piece about The Empire Strikes Back in Clerks? I think not. Or the line, "What the fuck is the internet?". Say I have bad taste, but I even partially enjoyed Jersey Girl.

Craig Robinson is one of the most underrated actors of today. You can quote me on that. Just based on his performance in "The Office", one can see he truly knows what he's doing. Anyone see the most recent episode on Thursday, the 30th? Apart from a hilarious interaction between Dwight and Andy and a creepy, "Why don't we put a little smile on that face?" from Creed, the interaction between Darryl (Robinson) and Michael (Steve Carrell) in the end scene was Oscar worthy... OK, fine, Emmy worthy. Point is, the man can act.

According to IMDB.com, High School Musical 3: Senior Year was the highest grossing film this weekend with an estimate of $15 million. The user rating of this movie on IMDB.com is a 3.3. Second place is Zack and Miri Make a Porno with $10.7 mil and an 8.0 rating. Third is Saw V with $10.1 mil and a 6.0 rating. This means for hundreds of thousands of people, the only horror they saw on Halloween was 112 min. of Disney induced torture. The difference between Saw V and HSM3SY? Not too much. Both will churn your insides and make you want to look away. Make the smart choice and say "No" to High School Musical 3.

I haven't seen Hot Shots part Deux so I had to look that up. As for the other, I could only guess Big, The Goonies, or perhaps Peter Pan.

"Do you have the slightest idea what a moral and ethical principal is? Do you?"

Let Me Find Out.

It seems that I got my November movie month started out right with Zack and Miri Make a Porno. I'm gonna say that I am a Kevin Smith fan. You may hate him but he is a smart fucking guy. And he gets what movies are really about. The Story.

This movie was no different. The story was simple and it is in the dialog where Mr. Smith really shines. The interplay between Seth Rogan and Craig Robinson (aka the black guy from the Office/ funniest scene in Knocked Up) was hilarious. Jason Mewes was great taking a step away from the crass Jay and a step towards playing an individual who may be legally retarded. Elizabeth Banks showed her range from comedy to drama as her character really is the most interesting.

The best part of this movie is Justin Long's cameo. I thought he was amazing in Live Free or Die Hard, but this you just have to see. That being said...

I recommend this for anyone looking for some great laughs and quotable lines. This movie did seem to me as a partial autobiography for Kevin Smith, explaining why he is a filmmaker.

"Would you grow up?" - Name that quote. (hint: the title of this post is from the same movie)

I am not a Role Model.

November 1st. The day all the Halloween decorations come down and all the Christmas ones go up. Well I am not going to talk about movies coming out in December, well not today. Now that November is here, I must say that the the movie I am looking forward to the most right now is Role Models.

Most of the time, I don't rush to see questionable Comedy movies unless there is nothing better out that weekend. However, this movie doesn't look questionable at all. It may not be Judd Apatow, but a few of his cohorts are going to be in this movie. I can't remember the last good movie Sean William Scott was in but he looks hilarious. Paul Rudd is always great with his deliveries, and I feel that the two of them together are gonna be awesome. Not to mention Mclovin is in the movie, who will hopefully be as good as he was in Superbad.

Another plus is that it's rated R, which usually lends itself to a wider variety of jokes. To name that quote Drew, it's from Black Sheep. I'll leave you with one, "I loved you in Wallstreet."

p.s. no google allowed for looking up quotes.

...ahem

I just noticed that my home boy posted a... post about the pile of slowly decomposing fecal matter known as Max Payne. God damnit. I am a gamer. A PC gamer. Yes, I'm what you may call a computer 'geek', but I'm also a sexy motherfucker so it evens out. I digress. Max Payne and its sequel were both great games with great stories. These stories were so good in fact, that there was no need for a director on this movie, just a guy that could have said, "Yeah, see that in the game? Yeah, do that. Good" Unfortunately, that didn't happen and what they ended up with was something terrible. More terrible than, I dare say, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. I actually fell asleep during this movie. This has happened ONE other time: Night Watch (Nochnoy Dozor). It's really disappointing that a movie with so much potential can turn into something so bad. Moreover, it's unfortunate that the Oscar nominee, Mark Wahlberg, was sucked into a great idea but bad execution. Max Payne just adds to the list of those responsible for the decrepid video game to movie stereotype.

Solace Runner

Yes, it is true that this new director hasn't done any 'laser' movies (those that involve guns, money and bitches) but then again, Casino Royale wasn't the same kind of action movie that the previous Bonds were. Daniel Craig plays the emotional Bond; the Bond that cares about women and justice. I do have to agree with you that a mere 106 minutes of Quantum time probably won't be enough, but then again, think of how long (and at some points boring) the Casino segment of Casino Royale was. Sure, the film had to live up to it's title, but more killing via silenced PPK's is good too.

Quantum of Solace has potential of being a zero down time movie; the kind that goes by and makes you think, "Gee wiz, this is darn good, I could watch it again and again and never get bored with it." And maybe that's what the difference will be. In any case, I know that I, and plenty of people around the world, will be standing in line next weekend to see it.

"You cannot catch a bat in a pot! Moron!" ~ Name that quote!

The Kite Quantum

I have a strange feeling that I'm not alone in this. Casino Royale is the best Bond film to date. Period. After watching it I was blown away at the action and intensity of the story. Maybe that's because my previous favorite Bond film was Goldeneye and the man who directed that also directed Casino Royale. Now to the matter at hand.

I'm worried about Quantum of Solace. I was extremely pumped after seeing the first preview but now I gotta say I'm starting to feel the pressure. I have no doubt that it is going to open to a huge box office, but I think it's going to be a mediocre sequel, something the Bond franchise has never done before. Also, the director, Marc Forster (The Kite Runner) has never directed an action film. Weighing in the fact that this is going to be the shortest Bond film following the longest one, doesn't sit well.

On the bright side, Daniel Craig is going to be phenomenal. Olga Kurylenko is fucking hot. Although, I am curious as to why she is playing a Spanish chick even though she's from the Ukraine, but I guess I'll find out. I will leave you with one thing: It doesn't hurt going into a movie with low expectations, because you never know if the level will be raised when the movie ends.

Revelation

Something dawned on a me a while back. I had this grand idea of blogging about movies with another individual who would argue with me until one of us was ultimately right. That is what I set out to do, unfortunately that is not what is happening here. So, I have decided that the structure of this blog needs an overhaul. In addition to the reviews and warnings about current movies, I'm gonna start dishing my thoughts about the films yet to come.

Drew, Bring It.

Say 'Hi' to your mutha for me aight

As my co-blogger previously stated, I do apologize for not posting for such a long time. Drew thanks for keeping it running. Like my counterpart I just moved to an apartment in Los Angeles and was without internet for 2 fuckin' weeks. So I hope you all out there will cut me some slack. Now on to the piece of shit that was Max Payne.

I'm gonna lay something on the table. I believe in video game movies. That being said I will explain myself. The first Mortal Kombat movie, was awesome. Every single video game that has been made into a movie, other than that BLOWS. Max Payne is no different. But I do hope that one day, some video game will be made into a great movie.

From the shitty acting of Mr. Entourage Producer himself, to the plot that left nothing resolved, there was absolutely nothing redeeming about Max Payne. You didn't give a shit about any of the characters and the twists couldn't have been less creative or predictable. The only positive is that I like the way snow looks with blood. I think more films should employ this device.

In the end, don't see Max Payne. It will be a phenomenal waste of your time and money. To quote Billy Madison, "everyone in this room is now dumber from having listen(seen) to it." And that's how this movie makes you feel.

The Golden Ticket

Alright so I haven't blogged here in a while. What movies have I seen since then? Well, I've seen Ghost Town and Body of Lies, both of which were excellent. So why haven't I wrote since then? Mostly because I've been moving to New York and now I have a grown-up job. Also, because I saw both of these movies after they had been out for a little while and therefore felt it would be slightly useless to post something that wouldn't really have any bearing. SO, why am I posting now? To explain to you, dear reader, that to see a movie in New York City, is fucking expensive.

Astonishingly, there are about 25 theatres within the 10001 zip code alone (estimated from Fandango.com). For those of you outta towners, that's an area of .7 square miles (according to city-data.com) located around Penn Station. Once you stretch the distance, you get more theatres. Lots more. Now, the average cost of a movie ticket in this area is $12.00 for an adult and $8.50 for children and seniors (again, according to Fandango). Where I was previously from, it was $9.50 for adults and $6.00 for children and seniors. So do the math (fine, I will) that's an increase of $2.50 per ticket per age per show in NYC. Yes, it's hogwash. But people can't be too poor to see movies right? It depends. If you look at the average income for this area, it suggests that people can. According to city-data.com, the average income of someone living in the 10001 zip code makes $84,496. That was in 2004 which means the average is most likely around 90k. The average income where I saw movies was $84,797. So wtf, mate? It sadly doesn't even out. What does make sense though is that this is New York, the number one populated city in the United States. Here in the city, one theatre can seat a limited amount of people. Think of what else this space could be used for. Other businesses, homes, etc. They have to charge a lot of money to pay for that rent. Money that we New Yorkers are willing to pay for the utility that it adds to our lives. Money that also apparently adds up to $12 per ticket.

Be tea dub: One 12 oz. bottle of beer costs $6, a standard no frills haircut costs $18, but a footlong meatball sub from Subway costs $5. Word.

Choke on that.

Chuck Palahniuk's latest book-to-movie, Choke hit theaters in limited release today. I can't say that I was disappointed, though I wasn't impressed. I had very low expectations for this movie. Here's why. First of all, it was written (adapted) by Clark Gregg, a man with no directorial experience and an acting experience that comes from nothing other than the exact opposite of what Choke was. For those that have read Choke, it's a dark, twistedly humorous, disgusting (at times), pitiful though salacious story. This movie was not. Why Gregg chose to add unfunny scenes and modify/cut those that could have added so much is beyond anything that makes sense to me. Choke was 89 minutes. It could have easily been 120-130. There were so many elements left out that this movie seemed like a Bunny Movies (don't know what they are? Check 'em out.) version of the book.

There were scenes that made me think "Oh, come on, that's not how it would've looked!" but I suppose we all paint a different picture in our mind. Much of the acting took away a lot from what it could have been. Sam Rockwell, who played Victor, the sex crazed main character, did a fine job, as did Anjelica Huston. Everyone else seemed as though they weren't rightly picked and everyone of them seemed as though they didn't read the book. Kelly Macdonald for instance is a great actress, but the character in the novel just didn't seem to be the same character in the movie. This felt the same way for everyone except Sam Rockwell. This is a problem for book to movie adaptations, however. I'm not a casting director, but I do think it would be rather easy to get a poll up for possible actors/actresses to fill the parts of the characters and find out from a potential audience who would be the best fit. Make sense? It should.

The music for the movie was done by Radiohead. This was a definite plus. It went perfectly with the story, too bad the movie couldn't as well. I don't so much understand why Gregg was allowed to do this movie as he has 0 experience in the genre. Perhaps the next adaptation of Palahniuk's will go to someone more like David Fincher. Fight Club was a classic, Choke won't be remembered in another two months.

The good 'ol days.

Ahh, remember back in the day (a wednesday) when this site actually had a consistent amount of posts? I don't either, since it never really did. BUT it did in fact have more efficient postings than it does now. Sadly, much like the disappearance of posts, there has been a disappearance of good movies. This weekend we had Lakeview Terrace and My Best Friend's Girl and some other crap that's not even worth mentioning. I didn't see either of these movies because I was in Mexico, obviously having a better time than I could have sitting in a theatre with these. Before my journey to our southern friends in NAFTA that bear the flag of the 'green, the white... and the red', I saw the film Righteous Kill.

Don't see this movie. If you have any respect for good cinema or good plot and half a brain to decide when the opposite is true, you will not appreciate this movie, just as you shouldn't. It is entirely unoriginal, has poor acting, a paper thin plot, and unfunny, old-man humor. When I say old-man humor I mean the type of humor that you could see a used up old timer spittin' out to his buds at a cheap bar while sipping a glass of Johnny Red, smoking a Camel, wearing a too-cool-for-school leather jacket, and having a semi-sweatty brow from a game of bacci. Pacino and DeNiro's interactions are painful to watch as the cut up about the 'new days on the force'. Even worse is a nudeless sex scene between DeNiro and Carla Gugino. It's obscenely obvious that the two Italian greats are far beyond their prime and are no longer cut out for action flicks. To put things into perspective, Marlon Brando was younger than both DeNiro and Pacino when The Godfather was released. I suppose Righteous Kill does the favor of allowing the elderly feel young again as they blow their noses into their button-down, pastel sweaters. For the rest of us, it'll only make us think of our grandparents in a new light, one that should never be turned on.

Ha! You think it's a Schwinn!

The Coen brothers are back after their recent 4 oscar wins with Burn After Reading. This is definitely unlike No Country for Old Men but then again, looking at the brother's track record, few movies of theirs are similar to the rest, save for the witty dialogue. Burn After Reading seems to be a combination of Fargo and The Big Lebowski in terms of plot and wtf moments. There's no need to explain the plot of BAR, you should really just see it for yourself, but the acting is truly what makes this movie great. The actors are all at their best. Clooney plays an awkward womanizer, Pitt plays a confused, slightly-more-than-stupid-but-slightly-more-than-eccentric physical trainer, Tilda Swinton plays the same oscar winning bitch role that she did in Michael Clayton, Frances Mcdormand plays a naive but more keen witted physical trainer in search of funding for body augmentation (plastic surgery, not cybernetics, though that could be pretty cool), and John Malkovich plays a moderately crazed though extremely pissed off recently fired CIA analyst that cooked up the whole plot of the movie. The prize for best on stage presence should be divided among all these characters as they all (except Swinton because she showed nothing new)do an amazing job and prove that they can really act. Though not a main character, J.K. Simmons leaves a fat mark in this movie as having the most comedic performance. Some of his lines were actually hard to hear because his delivery caused the entire theatre to go up in laughter. Burn After Reading is definitely a drama but the amount of comedy in it could bring the genre up for debate, even with Simmon's and Pitt's performances alone. See this movie now, I don't see it winning any oscars but it'll be another title for the Coen Brothers Classic box set.

Okay cock sucker, fuck with me and we'll see who shits on the sidewalk

Yes, that is an actually line from Death Race, Universal's (surprise!) remake of the 1975 classic, Death Race 2000. Whatever made the 3 time oscar nominee Joan Allen utter this confusing, slightly awkward line must have a high monetary value because this movie was about as deep as a paper plate. Where the movie fails in just about every way possible in terms of back story and sincerity, it more than makes up in raw, twisted, kick-you-in-the-throat carnage. Jason Statham plays his typical pissed-off, out for revenge role (ahh, remember the good ol' days of Snatch. and Lock Stock? No? Well apparently Statham's agent doesn't either) and succeeds with every snide british remark and crack to the jaw. Tyrese plays the too cool for school Machine Gun Joe and is rewarded with hilarious lines that rival 2 Fast 2 Furious (sadly he won't be in the 4th installment of the series).

Death Race is basically a real life Twisted Metal (Playstation) and will give fans of fast cars, violence, and Cuban women just what they're looking for. It's a typical action movie, but one that'll give you quite a few "Holy Sh*t!" moments. The death scenes are as creative as they are intense and the races themselves would make any NASCAR fan need a change of shorts. It certainly won't be a classic but for what it is, a hard core, YEAH MOTHERF$#&@^! type flick, it's pretty good. Good enough for your dollar and most likely to be played quite often on Spike TV.

What do *you* mean, you people?

In the past I truly underestimated going into a movie with extremely low expectations. Sometimes that in and of itself can turn out to become a self-fulfilling prophecy, but I am happy to say that in the case of Tropic Thunder it paid off. This is not a great movie. This is not a good movie. This is an okay movie with a few incredible scenes.
Robert Downey Jr. steals every single scene he's in. Surprisingly, Ben Stiller plays a much better character in this film then his past roles as a pathetic man which is mostly just awkward over being funny. Jack Black seemed to just be wasted space, although when he is tied to a tree, he quite possibly has the funniest scene in the movie.
I'll leave it at this: you'll enjoy this movie if you go in with low expectations. If they gave Academy Awards for comedy roles, I think Downey Jr. would have a solid shot at it.

I'm just a dude playing a dude pretending to be another dude.

Tropic Thunder... kinda a mixed bag. It was funny at times but at others it tried and failed. The story itself was believable (not that it matters) but it seemed that many scenes, along with characters, were useless, ie everything having to do with Jack Black and the whole Tivo bit. Many lines also seemed to be thrown together at the last minute after all the good lines from the funny bin were used and thus just weren't that funny. Where the script sometimes failed, the acting by a couple kept the movie alive.

Robert Downey Jr. was nothing short of incredible. Never in the entire movie did he play his stereotypical sarcastic, arrogant, sleeze ball role that can be seen in nearly every other movie he's been in. Granted those roles are great (who didn't love Kiss Kiss Bang Bang?) but playing two different characters was quite impressive.

Ben Stiller was Ben Stiller... playing the exact same role in every other movie he's been in (save Zoolander, and on the VMA's when he played Tom Crooze back in 2000). It seems he's going down the same road as Jason Biggs, getting that same unthrilling role every time. Perhaps he should stick to writing/directing. Like Stiller, Jack Black won't be among the reasons to see Tropic Thunder. There was very little funny about his fat/useless character nor much reason why he was in the movie at all.

Tom Cruise proved that he can actually act. True, he may be one notch lower than Mel Gibson on the crazy scale (yes, it does exist and is used throughout Zimbabwe), in a tad-bit motive questionable marriage and believe in a religion coined by a science fiction writer in 1952 (go to Wikipedia and type in Scientology and try to believe that people actually take it seriously without laughing), BUT the man played a role that rivals that of Robert DeNiro's role in Stardust or Ving Rhames in I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. Seeing Jerry Maguire scream obsenities that would shame Ari Gold while dancing to Get Low by Flo Rida is worth the $9.50 alone.

Oh, and although I loved The Goblet of Fire, The Order of the Phoenix didn't really tickle my fancy so I can't say I'm overly excited for the Half Blood Prince, but it was definitely a smart move on Warner's part. After all, the movie business is in fact a business and CEO's need that new Gulfstream V (Go back to wikipedia and look it up, McConaughey's character wouldn't have considered selling out Stiller's for nothing). But like you said, it pinches the time frame between that and the next one. It'll be interesting to see how it measures up with those that haven't been released over the summer.

HBP MTJ

For those of you unfamiliar with my abbreviations (above) Half-Blood Prince has been Moved To July. That's right, the sixth installment of the Harry Potter series has been moved from November to July today, which is pretty hilarious considering that TODAY's issue of Entertainment Weekly features Mr. Potter himself on the cover for the fall line up. Ouch, talk about your false advertising. Being a Potter fan myself (yeah i said it) and HBP being my 2nd favorite book, (to POA of course) I was mildly upset at the news. But can you blame Warner Brothers, with the success of TDK as a July release, why not go for two summers in a row with HBP. On the upside, this does shorten the gap between the sixth Harry Potter film and the first half of the seventh book. Drew I can't remember where you stand on the Potter front, thoughts?

A little fight in you... I like that

Maggie Gyllenhaal? Yeah, kinda weak. At the same time however she was leaps and bounds better than the joy-to-look-at but painful-to-watch, Katie Holmes.

Heath Ledger was by far the best part of The Dark Knight. His performance alone brought TDK out of the ranks of a comic book movie and into that fine echelon of classics that will be played on Sunday afternoons on Bravo. This comes as no surprise however to anyone that has seen Lords of Dogtown and to a lesser extent, I'm Not There. Honestly, the man was brilliant. He's an actor's actor; the new generation of Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Incomparable however to Jack's performance as the Joker. These two Jokers come from two different styles and therefore should be respected in their own rights. In any case, Ledger was good. Real good. The kind of good that makes the viewer get goose bumps in anticipation of Ledger's next seen. The kind of good that makes you root for the antagonist. The kind of good that makes it unbelievable that the same guy could be Casanova, Jacob Grimm or Gabriel Martin. The kind of good that makes us all upset that he's gone.

Back to the movie itself. Does it deserve a #1 on imdb.com? Why not? (As of today it's actually #3) This doesn't mean it's the greatest movie of all time, it merely shows that The Dark Knight has entertained and wowed people with its phenomenal acting, special effects, and plot line. "Why so serious?" has been the bumper sticker theme extraordinaire on facebook for quite some time and hows cool was that bike that the Batmobile converted into? Also the humor/ awe/ bad ass'ed'ness of the special effects along with the creepy feeling that I got from chuckling at the Joker blowing up the hospital (with the help of his 1000's of minions from the mental asylum [obviously,duh])... all feelings that make the audience say,"Hmm, that there was a darn good flick." The Dark Knight was able to bring these feelings to so many different people, something that few movies are capable of, including of course The Godfather, which 'insists upon itself.' There will never be 'THE' perfect movie, just movies that are more worth our time and money than others. And The Dark Knight certainly is.

Here. We. GO.

The Dark Knight. What can I say, this movie is probably the best film of the year so far. As great as it is, the film still had some definite flaws. I used to have respect for Maggie Gyllenhaal as an actress but her performance in this film...well...sucked. I already saw a facebook group titled: The Best Part of The Dark Knight Was When Maggie Gyllenhaal Got Her Ass Blown Up. And I completely agree with this statement. I'm glad we won't be seeing her in a sequel if there is one(judging by the $500 million take TDK is going to have I'm sure there will be another movie). The other main problem I had with the film was that the Joker knew fucking everything. He knew exactly who was gonna do what, when, and where. As cool as it is, no one person could know all that stuff. Also, the Joker had to have at least 1000 henchmen because all of the elaborate bombs in buildings, boats, and hospitals were perfectly placed at the right time.
However, my favorite part of the movie was by far the late Heath Ledger. The interrogation scene was unbelievable and his final scene where he was hanging upside down was fuckin badass. That being said I feel that imdb.com has lost it's credibility by having TDK at #1. Great movie, without a doubt, but best all time, not quite.

"It's all part of the plan."